It’s the end of an era for me. Or it feels like that, anyway.
The last four years I’ve been at home, writing. I couldn’t do much else. A medical condition more or less confined me to my chair. It was a difficult time, but now, looking back, I think I made the most of it. I had several surgeries which didn’t work and during one operation which went horribly wrong I nearly died. In April this year I had another operation which worked, and now I’m fine.
How can I tell you how important, vital even, you were to me during that time? Some of you probably have an idea, if you remember the whole Authonomy whirlwind, when my first attempt at a novel soared up the charts to the editor’s desk in three weeks. I went into shock and removed it from the site. I’d only written 10,000 words, and it was so far from being a novel that the idea of a HarperCollins editor giving me a review was just daft.
That same book has now been out on Kindle for a year, most of the time in the UK top 1,000 Kindle books on Amazon. I am still pinching myself about that. In fact, I’m embarrassed. A few weeks ago my computer packed up, and I lost my hard drive and all my emails, which seemed like a calamity. Not so. I went back to the earliest drafts, and discovered the oddest thing. After all that editing, all those revisions, trying to be a bit cleverer each time, I found that the first drafts were the best. (Thanks, Caro – I did what you suggested!)
So to mark the first anniversary of publication, I have uploaded a newly edited version of Daisychains of Silence. I’m a lot happier with it than I was. It’s not perfect, it never will be, but I’ve learned to trust my first, often hastily scribbled words. I hope, with my next book, I won’t waste time editing the life out of my writing. It’s not that I don’t think editing is important. I do, I think it’s crucial. But there’s a difference between thoughtful editing and unnecessary padding, just because you doubt what you’ve written. Bits that felt too raw, somewhere during the editing process I took them out. I think I got scared, which is how the padding crept in instead. I’ve realised that less really is more. Now, the ending is very different. If anyone who read the earlier version would like me to send them the new file, please just let me know. The new version might not be downloadable for a day or so – and the look inside feature takes a while to catch up as well. Oh, and there’s a new cover, too, to mark the occasion.
But the last four years haven’t just been about Daisychains. Far more important to me is my father’s writing. The Ripening Time, a revised version of the original novel, is out there for readers, and I hope also to finish typing up the original, so people can read that again if they wish. The miracle out of it all is that my father’s literary estate is now being represented by Peters, Fraser and Dunlop. Three of his titles are due to be re-released by Bloomsbury Reader, and also as audio books by Audible. That is something I never dreamed would happen, and makes everything else seem unimportant. But without Daisychains, none of this would be happening. And that’s down to you (I want to start typing names… Lisa, Stef… but there are so many of you I would fill the entire page!). Some of you have appear to have vanished into the ether, but you have not vanished from my heart.
Wherever you are, I want to thank you all for the support and friendship you’ve given me over the last few years. You made the impossible happen. I’m not really an extrovert, tweeting, blogging sort of person, but those of you who are, I love you for it. You kept me company through some dark times. You made a real difference. And those of you who are quieter, I felt your comforting presence, and I look out for your blog posts, and will continue to – maybe even while I’m at work, during quiet times!
Yes, tomorrow I go back to work. I feel so lucky at my age and after being so incapacitated, to have this opportunity. We won’t have to sell the house! We might still choose to move, but it will be our choice, not because we are so broke we have no option.
I’m going back to the same company I worked for over ten years ago. They’re prepared to have me back! That alone is lovely. Some of the people are the same, and I will enjoy spending time with them again. It will be a huge learning curve though – technology has moved on since I was there, so I’ll have a lot to learn.
My computer’s sorted, my book’s updated (and the price is reduced for a while, to celebrate) and my new, historical time-slip novel is saved on Scrivener, waiting for me to flesh out the bones of it when I can. That might be years, but now I’ve started writing again I don’t intend to stop.
Our son recommends we pay a monthly subscription to some online file-saving back-up system, and that’s probably a good idea, so however long it takes, my files will be safe.
In the meantime I won’t be far away, and will be thinking of you.