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It’s the end of an era for me. Or it feels like that, anyway.

The last four years I’ve been at home, writing. I couldn’t do much else. A medical condition more or less confined me to my chair. It was a difficult time, but now, looking back, I think I made the most of it. I had several surgeries which didn’t work and during one operation which went horribly wrong I nearly died. In April this year I had another operation which worked, and now I’m fine.

How can I tell you how important, vital even, you were to me during that time? Some of you probably have an idea, if you remember the whole Authonomy whirlwind, when my first attempt at a novel soared up the charts to the editor’s desk in three weeks. I went into shock and removed it from the site. I’d only written 10,000 words, and it was so far from being a novel that the idea of a HarperCollins editor giving me a review was just daft.

That same book has now been out on Kindle for a year, most of the time in the UK top 1,000 Kindle books on Amazon. I am still pinching myself about that. In fact, I’m embarrassed. A few weeks ago my computer packed up, and I lost my hard drive and all my emails, which seemed like a calamity. Not so. I went back to the earliest drafts, and discovered the oddest thing. After all that editing, all those revisions, trying to be a bit cleverer each time, I found that the first drafts were the best. (Thanks, Caro – I did what you suggested!)

So to mark the first anniversary of publication, I have uploaded a newly edited version of Daisychains of Silence. I’m a lot happier with it than I was. It’s not perfect, it never will be, but I’ve learned to trust my first, often hastily scribbled words. I hope, with my next book, I won’t waste time editing the life out of my writing. It’s not that I don’t think editing is important. I do, I think it’s crucial. But there’s a difference between thoughtful editing and unnecessary padding, just because you doubt what you’ve written. Bits that felt too raw, somewhere during the editing process I took them out. I think I got scared, which is how the padding crept in instead. I’ve realised that less really is more. Now, the ending is very different. If anyone who read the earlier version would like me to send them the new file, please just let me know. The new version might not be downloadable for a day or so – and the look inside feature takes a while to catch up as well. Oh, and there’s a new cover, too, to mark the occasion.

But the last four years haven’t just been about Daisychains. Far more important to me is my father’s writing. The Ripening Time, a revised version of the original novel, is out there for readers, and I hope also to finish typing up the original, so people can read that again if they wish. The miracle out of it all is that my father’s literary estate is now being represented by Peters, Fraser and Dunlop. Three of his titles are due to be re-released by Bloomsbury Reader, and also as audio books by Audible. That is something I never dreamed would happen, and makes everything else seem unimportant. But without Daisychains, none of this would be happening. And that’s down to you (I want to start typing names… Lisa, Stef… but there are so many of you I would fill the entire page!). Some of you have appear to have vanished into the ether, but you have not vanished from my heart.

Wherever you are, I want to thank you all for the support and friendship you’ve given me over the last few years. You made the impossible happen. I’m not really an extrovert, tweeting, blogging sort of person, but those of you who are, I love you for it. You kept me company through some dark times. You made a real difference. And those of you who are quieter, I felt your comforting presence, and I look out for your blog posts, and will continue to – maybe even while I’m at work, during quiet times!

Yes, tomorrow I go back to work. I feel so lucky at my age and after being so incapacitated, to have this opportunity. We won’t have to sell the house! We might still choose to move, but it will be our choice, not because we are so broke we have no option.

I’m going back to the same company I worked for over ten years ago. They’re prepared to have me back! That alone is lovely. Some of the people are the same, and I will enjoy spending time with them again. It will be a huge learning curve though – technology has moved on since I was there, so I’ll have a lot to learn.

My computer’s sorted, my book’s updated (and the price is reduced for a while, to celebrate) and my new, historical time-slip novel is saved on Scrivener, waiting for me to flesh out the bones of it when I can. That might be years, but now I’ve started writing again I don’t intend to stop.

Our son recommends we pay a monthly subscription to some online file-saving back-up system, and that’s probably a good idea, so however long it takes, my files will be safe.

In the meantime I won’t be far away, and will be thinking of you.



I set up a new blog, but I’m meant to be writing a sequel to Daisychains of Silence, and it’s a terrible distraction, so I’ve abandoned it. Anyway, I’m too hesitant to be a natural blogger, a fact that’s taken me a while to accept. And accept that it’s OK – blogging doesn’t come naturally to everyone, and that is fine. In one of my many attempts to embrace blogging, I actually set up a blog called Braver Blogging (and I wasn’t being ironic at the time, more like optimistic). I wrote there, for a while, but kept it private. I mean, I wish I was brave enough to say to the world all the stuff I said in there, but somehow I don’t think that’s going to happen.

But it’s my downfall, I know that. The most entertaining/informative/stimulating blogs are written by people who are brave enough to show a bit of their real selves to the world, and we are richer for reading their truth. A few spring to mind, and I’ll try to share them here. I’m not very good at linky things (in fact WordPress has driven me nuts while I’ve been trying to change my Daisychains site away from the black & white pages I set up a couple of years ago – I wanted a lighter, brighter look and this is the result so far).

So here are just some of the real Braver Bloggers:

Exmoor Jane – you never know what’s coming next over at Jane Alexander’s lively blog, but I never miss a post because whatever it’s about I know it’s bound to be entertaining, thought provoking and always uplifting. She’s blogged about everything from Vegetarianism to Spanx tummy-tuck underwear, Astral cookies and other recipes to labyrinths and Christmas markets and even if she’s writing about the horrid black dog that seems to lurk around the corner for so many of us at this time of year, Jane still manages to put a positive slant on things. I like that. And that’s why I bought her book The Energy Secret. I thought ‘if I could have a bit of what she’s taking I’d be a happier, more productive, all-round better person.’  Turns out all you have to do is breathe.  Lucky for us we can read and breathe at the same time because she’s actually written more books than you’ll find in some people’s home – fiction and non-fiction – and a fab new guide to the best British pubs is available through her blog too. Breathe.

Jake Barton – if ever anyone should be given a column in one of the glossy sunday supplements (the glossiest, definitely), it’s the suave, opinionated, wonderfully talented bestselling writer, Mr Jake Barton. Or as he prefers to describe himself, a wastrel. Waste a few half hours over on his blog – I guarantee that once you start reading you won’t be able to stop. Then pop over to Amazon and buy his thrillers. They’re thrilling, just like him.

Dumphimlove ~ I met this lovely lady, who’s real name is Barbara Green, through Jane Alexander when she introduced us on Twitter. How did Jane know I would love Barbara Green? I have no idea, but I’ve come to realise Jane’s instincts are usually spot on. Barbara is a BACP qualified counsellor, and her website is a treasure trove of thoughtful articles, often relationship-based but not always – we might be off to Morrocco in February after reading her lively account of her holiday there. So, entertaining and fascinating, but the most surprising thing is there is even an interactive problem page where people can write to her with a specific issue that’s troubling them and she will give her professional opinion. How amazing is that? When you have to wait months and months for any sort of counselling through Relate or your GP I think it’s a wonderful idea, and I would trust Barbara to always give a thoughtful and compassionate response, whatever the problem. But Barbara’s not all sweetness and light, even though she’s caring. She’s not afraid to speak her mind and will do if she thinks it will help. And there’s book recommendations and music clips as well, so something for everyone, even if you don’t have a worry in the world.

More blogs I follow to follow (if you know what I mean), but in the meantime if anyone knows if I can do anything useful with all the white space either side of this page, please let me know.

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Daisychains of Silence

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The Ripening Time

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